30 Apr Nope. Impossible
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
For those of you that follow me on twitter, you already know that this blog has been quiet for two big reasons. Christine Hertz and I are working on a Really Awesome new project together (we are on the home stretch!), and I’m also now a new mother, Working on the book with Christine has taken most of my writing time, but occasionally an idea comes up that needs its own home. This is one of them.
At the risk of sounding like a cliche, literally NOTHING could have prepared me for the joys and challenges of pregnancy, birth, and the first two weeks with a newborn. Never in my life have I felt like things were more impossible, and then did them anyway.
There was a definite point in labor when I thought, “Nope. Impossible.”
But there was no choice, so I had to do it anyway.
There was a point the first night home, screaming baby, crashing hormones, dead of night, when I thought, “Nope. Impossible.”
But there was no choice, and we made it through anyway.
The sleep deprivation: nope, impossible. But there was no choice, and it happened anyway.
If nothing else, this experience (so far) has made me realize that “impossible” is a relative thing. As a matter of fact, I think I often confuse the words “hard” and “impossible”. The limits of what is actually possible is far greater and bigger and wider than I ever dreamed.
So as I sit and stare at this little guy, who is finally asleep (I know, I should be too, but its not in the cards right now) and I think about the kids I have taught and all the impossible things they have already accomplished before they come to school, I question the way I have perceived and reacted to things like challenging behaviors, benchmarks, changing bias and school culture, and I wonder, “was it really impossible or just outside the spectrum of hard that I am comfortable with? What id I stopped thinking of impossible as a choice?”
I think we have to really start with the premise that nothing is impossible in the classroom and for kids. Things can be hard, really hard, so hard they feel impossible, but that doesn’t mean it is. It can feel impossible and still get done anyway.
Now I am wary of “kumbaya” teaching, by which I mean, bite size, t-shirt ready slogans about the power of positive thinking. We can all sit around and say, “Nothing is impossible!” and then act as though certain things are beyond our ability to change- the lack of diverse books, the elimination of play in schools, the overly heavy emphasis on academic over social emotional skills. Saying you can overcome difficulty, is not the same is overcoming difficulty.. We all need strategies and practical supports. So what is the strategy for overcoming the “its impossible” feeling? Maybe it goes something like this:
- Admit it feels hard, almost impossible- don’t shortchange the struggle, but don’t let hard stop you
- Take any step in any direction, if its the wrong direction, you will have at least eliminated one possibility
- Find a support group: online, on twitter, in your school community and problem solve, don’t go at it alone
- Cry as needed (this one is just for me, right now, but you can adopt it for yourself as well)
- Take another step/action/attempt
Making change in the world can feel like a “nope. Impossible” moment, but we can still go ahead and do it anyway. Every day we overcome an impossible and realize it was just merely harder than we thought it could be,
As for our book, it will have loads more on making powerful change in classrooms and school cultures. As for me, I look forward to doing as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast (showering being one of them).
And to the makers of the perineal ice pack, good job.
BeccaPosted at 18:09h, 30 April
Great post. Thanks for your honesty. And congratulations on your new little guy. Many emotions ahead, but deep joy and love will be among them.
LoraleePosted at 20:55h, 30 April
I love reading your words.
Thank you for sharing. Love this sentence… “Every day we overcome an impossible and realize it was just merely harder than we thought it could be.”
Last sentence made me laugh out loud! One of the best inventions of all time!
SuePosted at 21:08h, 30 April
First of all congratulations mom, so happy to hear that you are working on many new endeavors, especially motherhood. This is such a timely entry at this time of the school year where impossible seems to come to mind more often that not on the day to day challenges as the weather warms, the end of school is in sight and the proverbial questioning….”have we made enough progress”, “do we have the data”, etc, etc. whew, let’s hear it for possible and the knowledge that impossible is just something harder. “The limits of what is actually possible is far greater and bigger and wider than I ever dreamed.” Three cheers to you and your wonderful insights.
stacy1001Posted at 22:15h, 30 April
Welcome to motherhood! There is nothing that rivals it… impossible as it feels at time. I loved thinking of impossible as just being harder than we thought. Many years ago you were my mentor during the summer institute (RW) and you gave me the courage to push on. Now my school is a RW and WW school. Yes, at times it felt impossible but one little step at a time. ❤️
katherinebomerPosted at 23:33h, 30 April
Beautiful post, Kristine! Congratulations on all your new projects, and most especially on your baby! What a lucky, lucky little human. <3
kristimrazPosted at 18:18h, 18 October
Thank you 🙂 Still standing- only just now getting to this blog… so mixed success!
Katherine Sokolowski (@katsok)Posted at 00:10h, 01 May
Welcome to motherhood. I was 28 when we had our oldest, Luke. We had been married for six years. I thought I was prepare, ready even. Boy was I wrong. Two weeks in I wondered what on earth I had been thinking, my life before was so much easier. As he slept more, gradually, it got easier. I always loved him, of course, but I totally mourned what I had lost at the same time. Sending you love and sleep.
And this post is brilliant.
kristimrazPosted at 18:17h, 18 October
Thank you for this 🙂
Dani BurtsfieldPosted at 11:48h, 01 May
Before I forget, a hearty AMEN and a little giggle to your closing comment. It was 23 years ago that I had my first of 3 daughters, and I remember it all like it was yesterday. I am serious. Savor every minute.
We have missed you and your blog! What a wonderful post this is. I am motivated, enlightened, and greatly encouraged as I face my own journey ahead.
Your question, “What if I stopped thinking of impossible as a choice?” reminds me of something my dad always said when I would lament, “I can’t” to something that was difficult. He would always say “There are no such words as I can’t.” He was right. And so are you – we must face our impossible moments, walk through them and as you said, discover they were “merely harder than we thought they could be.”
JanetPosted at 19:40h, 22 May
Welcome to Motherhood, the world’s greatest sorority…with the worst hazing ever. (Patti Vasquez) Congratulations, and thanks for your reflections.